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The Great Outdoors

by The Napoleon of Crime

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1.
there's an empty space that won't hold still there's a hole inside no soul can fill there's a chance we can change by force of will but we'll have to get it together but if passion starts to stir inertia kills that engine's purr when do we expect this change to occur? not right now, and maybe never is everything beyond repair or is it just that the heart's not in it? you can wring your hands and say you care but what does it count if the heart's not in it? I'm starting to think that the heart's not in it it's not that we don't know how to start or that they don't have our interests at heart it's just that they might be missing that part so we'd best start getting stronger so kneel right here for foolish hope and pray we're not just blowing smoke be sure to ask for a little more rope to hang around for a while longer is everything beyond repair or is it just that the heart's not in it? you can wring your hands and say you care but what does it count if the heart's not in it? and I'm starting to think that the heart's not in it we're holding on but our hands are aching the heart's not in it but ours keep breaking
2.
Trespasser 04:46
the buildings I see are painted rust I'm amazed that they're still here and all the people I used to trust say they'll still be standing in thirty years until the promise is made good I find myself wandering around I'm the phantom of my neighborhood I haunt the streets of my town I may as well be a ghost for all my shouting, I just fog up the windows at most living in this place I always feel like I'm moving away I must have been born a trespasser you know I really can't stay looking for something hard to see and the search keeps getting colder I've got the twentieth century looking over my shoulder trying to find my way with a map that's tearing along the folds it's hard to move for fear of the traps there's nothing to do and nowhere to go can't change my surroundings or step over the lines drawn around me living in this place I always feel like I'm moving away I must have been born a trespasser you know I really can't stay what will become of me? where I am is not where I thought I would be living in this place I always feel like I'm moving away I must have been born a trespasser you know I really can't stay
3.
Novocaine 02:42
it's nothing new, someone got hurt but it's not every day that it scorches the earth to let it go, you slow down and stop to let it go, you turn yourself off sentiment is sediment and regrets are just bones that won't set I'm numb as a statue, with or without you I don't want to feel anything yet the world is just whatever comes next you take the present and forget all the rest but every time I hear your name it makes me ache for novocaine sentiment is sediment and regrets are just bones that won't set I'm numb as a statue, with or without you I don't want to feel anything yet
4.
I've been deaf for an evening I've been buried in sound the air itself was shaking it coats and it surrounds now my ears are ringing I sleep at night with bells and I don't mind the sacrifice 'cause every little bit helps I've smothered on the smell of flowers I've rolled around in the weeds it was almost too much to handle it was everything I need 'cause even if I'm lifted up to the best I've ever felt drop me back in the lowest ditch 'cause every little bit helps I am wholly, and without concern part of this world though this world will burn I wouldn't ever wanna be born again I wouldn't ever wanna be born again I wouldn't ever wanna be born again I wouldn't ever wanna be born again I've been burned and wounded I've been covered in scars I've been whacked and shattered I've been broken in shards take me back to the knuckles I love tattoo my soul with welts I wanna feel everything and every little bit helps every little bit helps (every little bit) every little bit helps (every little bit) every little bit helps (every little bit) every little bit helps
5.
here we are now we were pointed at the future but we aren't there just yet we've been weighed down by the promises and rules that we're all trying to forget the salt of our love doesn't make us taste better but it cleans out our cuts it's not enough if we don't get some answers to the whys and the whats like, what are we supposed to do when we're barely doing well? are we even part of this world at all? it's getting hard to tell who here's made of stronger stuff? dirt and iron, blood and guts who's the same as the rest of us? skin and bones and blood and guts how can anyone hang tough when all we are is all we've got? trying to stay alive on trust spirit, soul, and blood and guts there must have been something in the water the year we arrived 'cause all of my friends are staggering like they're poisoned when we're all still alive were our best days just an Indian summer of sorts? was it a waste? did we spend all our promise in the bars and the courts? I say we've got something left it's pounding in our veins but it's time that we had something to show beyond our bodies, our minds, and our names who here's made of stronger stuff? dirt and iron, blood and guts and who's the same as the rest of us? skin and bones and blood and guts how can anyone hang tough when all we are is all we've got? trying to stay alive on trust spirit, soul, and blood and guts who here's made of stronger stuff? dirt and iron, blood and guts and who's the same as the rest of us? skin and bones and blood and guts how can anyone hang tough when all we are is all we've got? trying to stay alive on trust spirit, soul, and blood and guts
6.
we were pointed towards each other by science, faith, and math and it seemed a better way to go than I'd gone in the past it might be in my head or maybe it was something I said there's a lot space between the lines to be read vanishing Jane all I ever got from you was a number and a name vanishing Jane if I never even heard of you, the end would be the same we could break the summer open catch the good times pouring out instead it looks like we're gonna let it pass without a sound oh, but who could tell when you've learned to disappear so well? I know you won't answer but come on, what the hell? vanishing Jane all I ever got from you was a number and a name vanishing Jane if I never even heard of you, the end would be the same yeah, of course, I'll be alright that's just the way things go but if we were never gonna speak you could've let me know vanishing Jane all I ever got from you was a number and a name vanishing Jane if I never even heard of you, the end would be the same vanishing Jane vanishing Jane
7.
I bit apart the kiss a fruit with the sweetest juices flowing I dropped what I didn't need like seeds in soil where nothing's growing I got out, but I didn't get away there must be something wrong with me these days and yeah, I know it's cold but hey, what can you do? I guess I should have known that they get you with the frostbite blues I close up like a fist open arms only waste our time I guess I still believe it's not the same if it isn't hard to find I just don't see what there is to share you open your heart, you get blood everywhere and, god, it's such a mess and every time it's new so you learn to live with less 'til they get you with the frostbite blues don't wanna live like a raw nerve, honey exposed and wired, shocked and stunned I wanna be as hard as diamonds real tough without a gun I know I'm not the only one if you let nothing in you've got nothing to lose but it's hard to say you win once they get you with the frostbite blues
8.
hanging onto a cliff so tight with fingernails and baby teeth how'd I get stranded way up high with no idea what's underneath? I know I need somebody here with me in times like these a ripcord that I can always reach I'm not too worried about the fall it's the ground that's gonna hurt if it's not fatal after all then at least I'm down to earth now we begin my hanging around is at end time to descend I'm so sick of hovering can you help me stick the landing? can you help me stick the landing? will you help me with the landing? can you help me stick the landing? can you help me stick the landing? can you help me stick the landing? will you help me with the landing? can you help me stick the landing? I know I need somebody here with me
9.
strong enough to lift you up well, that's the whole idea and it always seems to rally me every time I see you that's the thing that brought us here as I'm sure you know now that we've come so far, my dear take it with you when you go I thought that I'd treat the world like a threshold a thousand miles wide you'd be the bride and I'd carry you, carry you, carry you all the time searching for some gorgeous war a beautiful disaster to be the man with the steady hands and all, yes all, the answers but it doesn't work that way as I'm sure you are aware we don't really get a say fate drags us everywhere I thought that I'd treat the world like a threshold a thousand miles wide you'd be the bride and I'd carry you, carry you, carry you all the time try to save what no one can you see some things that no one should now, sweetheart, I can barely stand I shouldered all the weight I could I thought that I'd have started getting better at leaving this behind instead I find that I carry you, carry you, carry you all the time
10.
I'm at war with myself but the heart's not in it it could be over soon but I'll wait another minute if anyone even tried to stop me I'd probably fold like origami 'cause the things that I'm not forgiven for could easily come back around once more if it happened once, it could happen again thirty days without an accident I never had a dream I would've survived I always had the sense to wake up in time I can't quite trust the way things seem and my heart behaves like Descartes' demon though you might think I'm easily scared I just don't jump when I can't see what's there you reach for the will and find that it's spent thirty days without an accident you hold fear so tight you get fused to it I don't ever want to get used to this the static of anger obstructs and obscures I'd love to get moving but I'm just not sure that's how you end up stuck in one place slower and smaller, lost and erased 'til you catch yourself wondering where the chaos went thirty days without an accident I don't ever want to face those fears again I don't ever want to taste those tears again since I've been standing still it's been thirty days without an accident

about

This is a collection of songs about a cranky introvert, elbowing his way through a quarter-life crisis and trying to decide whether and to what extent to actually engage with the outside world. Sometimes the outside world is a very disappointing, even cruel place; at others, it's gorgeous and appealing. The question is whether the former exhausts your patience for seeking out the latter -- especially if you're not naturally given to taking risks or putting yourself out there.

As always, alert listeners will discern this recording's humble, lo-fi origins. I recommend turning it up a whole bunch.

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released September 16, 2016

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The Napoleon of Crime Washington, D.C.

"He is the Napoleon of crime, Watson. He is the organizer of half that is evil and of nearly all that is undetected in this great city. He is a genius, a philosopher, an abstract thinker. He has a brain of the first order . . . My horror at his crimes was lost in my admiration at his skill." -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "The Final Problem" ... more

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